Positive Thinking

Positive Thinking

There are many ways a person can change negative thoughts and self-criticism to more realistic and positive thoughts. Focusing on all of them at once may be overwhelming, but focusing on a few at a time and reminding yourself of these positive approaches regularly can change your self-esteem.



Read the positive thought strategies below and choose several that would help you most. Write them down and remind yourself to pause and change your way of thinking each time you are being critical of yourself. As you become more comfortable with each new way of thinking (for example, learning not to apologize or accept blame for other's anger) try adding a new positive thought strategy to your list.

Positive Thought Strategies

• Avoid exaggerations.
  Correct your internal voice when it exaggerates, especially when it exaggerates the negative. Try to avoid thinking in extreme terms ("I always make that mistake" or "I'll never get that promotion.")
• Nip negative thoughts in the bud.
  Sometimes putting a stop on negative thinking is as easy as that. The next time you start giving yourself an internal browbeating, tell yourself to "stop it!" If you saw a person yelling insults at another person, you would probably tell them to stop. Why do you accept that behavior from yourself?

• Accentuate the positive.
  Instead of focusing on what you think are your negative qualities, accentuate your strengths and assets. Maybe you didn't ace the test you were studying for, but maybe your hard work and perseverance led to a better grade than you would have had. Maybe you felt nervous and self-conscious when giving a presentation at work, but maybe your boss and coworkers respected you for getting up and trying.
• Accept flaws and being human.
  Maybe you did get nervous and blow that presentation at work - so what? Talk to your boss about what went wrong, try to address the error in the future, and move on. All people have flaws and make mistakes. Your boss, coworkers, friends, family, postman, congressman, and favorite movie star have all made mistakes. They've forgiven themselves; so can you.
• Accept imperfections.
  Perfection is a high goal to aim for -- you don't need to start there or even end there. Make doing your best your ideal -- what more can you realistically do? Focus on what you've gained from the process and how you can use it in the future. Avoid focusing on what wasn't done or 'should have' been done differently. Allow yourself to make mistakes and then forgive yourself. Try laughing instead of criticizing.

• Don't bully yourself!
  "Should have, could have, would have ... " Try not to constantly second guess yourself, criticize yourself for what you "should" have done better, or expect too much from yourself. Don't put standards on yourself that you wouldn't expect from others. It's great to want to do well, but expecting yourself to be perfect (which is impossible) and then punishing yourself when you fail is a vicious cycle. Using expressions like "I should have" is just a way of punishing yourself after the fact.
• Replace criticism with encouragement.
  Instead of nagging or focusing on the negative (in yourself and others), replace your criticism with encouragement. Give constructive criticism instead of being critical ("maybe if I tried to do ____ next time, it would be even better" instead of "I didn't do that right.") Compliment yourself and those around you on what you have achieved ("well, we may not have done it all, but we did a pretty great job with what we did".)
• Don't feel guilty about things beyond your control.
  You are not to blame every time something goes wrong or someone has a problem. Apologizing for things and accepting blame can be a positive quality, if you are in the wrong and if you learn and move on. But you shouldn't feel responsible for all problems or assume you are to blame whenever someone is upset.
• Don't feel responsible for everything.
  Just as everything is not your fault, not everything is your responsibility. It's okay to be helpful, but don't feel the need to be all things (and do all things) for all people. This is taking too much of a burden on yourself AND limiting those around you. Let others be responsible for themselves and their actions -- you shouldn't feel responsible for their happiness.
• Do feel responsible for your feelings.
  Just as you can't "make" other people happy, don't expect others to "make" you feel happy or good about yourself. In the same way, they shouldn't make you feel guilty or bad about yourself. You create your own feelings and make your own decisions. People and events may have an affect on your emotions, but they can't dictate them.

• Treat yourself kindly.
  People often feel more comfortable treating themselves in ways they wouldn't consider treating others. Do you criticize yourself with terms like "stupid" "ugly" or "loser"? Would you use those terms to describe a friend? Remind yourself that you deserve to be treated as well as you treat others. Do something nice for yourself sometimes -- either in thought (give yourself a compliment) or action (treat yourself to a nice dinner or new book.)
• Give yourself a break.
  You don't need to be all things to all people or please everyone. Give yourself permission to decide you're doing the best you can. Remind yourself when you're doing things well -- don't wait to hear it from someone else.
• Choose the brighter side of things.
  You can choose how to interpret comments and events, so try for the more positive interpretations. If someone says, "You look good today," don't ask yourself "What was wrong with the way I looked yesterday?" Accept compliments graciously (don't ask yourself why you haven't been complemented on something else or why you haven't complemented you before.) Look at temporary setbacks as opportunities for growth.

• Forgive and forget.
  Try not to hang on to painful memories and bad feelings - this is a surefire way to encourage negative thoughts and bad moods. Your past can control you if you don't control it. If you can, forgive past wrongs and move on. (Don't forget that forgiving yourself is an important part of this process, too!) If you have a hard time forgiving or forgetting, consider talking through your emotions with a good friend or counselor, but try not to dwell. It's important to work through things, but you can't let the past determine your future.
• Focus on what you CAN do, not what you can't.
  Avoid "can't" thinking or other negative language. If you say something often enough, you may start to believe it, so keep your statements positive, not negative. Don't be afraid to seek help in accomplishing things, but remind yourself that you don't need approval from others to recognize your accomplishments. Focus on what you're able to do. Remind yourself of all your capabilities and positive qualities.

Using just one or two of the above strategies on a regular basis can greatly increase your positive self-image and self-esteem. Making these internal changes will increase your confidence in yourself and your willingness and ability to make external changes and improve your life.

The Good in You

Remember Your Good Qualities!



Reminding yourself of your positive qualities is one of the fastest ways to improve and maintain a positive self-image.

Use the following list as a guide, or write your own list. What are you good at? What qualities do you have that make you feel good about yourself? What are positive things people have said about you? 



Create your own list and put it someplace where you can see it and remind yourself regularly of all your good qualities.

I AM ...

• Adaptable
• Adventurous
• Affectionate
• Ambitious
• Artistic
• Assertive
• Broad-minded
• Capable
• Caring
• Charming
• Cheerful
• Clear-headed
• Clever
• Compassionate
• Competent
• Confident
• Conscientious
• Considerate
• Courageous
• Creative
• Dependable
• Determined
• Devoted
• Dynamic
• Easy-going
• Efficient
• Energetic
• Enterprising
• Enthusiastic

• Fair
• Faithful
• Flexible
• Friendly
• Funny
• Generous
• Gentle
• Glad
• Goal-oriented
• Good-natured
• Happy
• Helpful
• Honest
• Hopeful
• Idealistic
• Imaginative
• Independent
• Industrious
• Intelligent
• Inventive
• Joyful
• Kind
• Leader
• Likable
• Listener
• Logical
• Lovable
• Mature
• Merry
• Modest
• Natural
• Neat
• Non-judgmental
• Nurturing
• Open-minded
• Optimistic
• Organized
• Original
• Outgoing
• Passionate
• Patient
• Peaceful
• Persevering
• Persistent
• Pleasant
• Polite
• Positive
• Practical
• Precise
• Progressive
• Punctual
• Quick-thinker
• Quiet
• Quirky
• Rational
• Realistic
• Reasonable
• Reflective
• Relaxed
• Reliable
• Resourceful
• Responsible
• Robust
• Sexy
• Sincere
• Sociable
• Spontaneous
• Spunky
• Stable
• Strong
• Tactful
• Talented
• Tenacious
• Thorough
• Tolerant
• Trusting
• Trustworthy
• Truthful
• Understanding
• Unique
• Versatile
• Warm
• Witty
• Youthful
• Zany

Why not take a few minutes now to write your own description and include some of the nice things people have said about you. See if you can come up with one for every letter of the alphabet. I could not think of a word that starts with "X"... can you?

Self Image

Improving Your Self Image

Improving your self-image, like improving any skill, takes time and practice. Developing good self-esteem involves encouraging a positive (but realistic) attitude toward yourself and the world around you and appreciating your worth, while at the same time behaving responsibly towards others. Self-esteem isn't self-absorption; it's self-respect.



By working from the inside out (focusing on changing your own way of thinking before changing the circumstances around you), you can build your self-esteem. The goal of this positive thinking is to give yourself a more positive self-concept, while seeing yourself honestly and accepting yourself, and removing the internal barriers that can keep you from doing your best.

Beauty

Beauty 

beautiful beau'ti·ful adj.
beautifully beau'ti·ful·ly adv.
beautifulness beau'ti·ful·ness n.

Beautiful is a woman who has a distinctive personality, one who can laugh at anything, including themselves, who is especially kind and caring to others. She is a woman who above all else knows the value of having fun, and not taking life too seriously. She is a woman that you can trust and count on to brighten your day. She is a woman who can inexplicably make you feel really good just by being around her, and yet brings such great sadness when she is gone. 

SYNONYMS   beautiful, lovely, pretty, handsome, comely, fair. All these adjectives apply to what excites aesthetic admiration. Beautiful is most comprehensive: a beautiful child; a beautiful painting, a beautiful flower...

Anyone can be beautiful. It's not about the clothing, the hair, the make-up. It's about the way your smile radiates warmth, or dancing when you're excited, no matter who's watching. How to be beautiful? There are no guidelines, and anyone who tells you otherwise is telling you how to be pretty. Pretty and beautiful are not synonyms. Pretty is a but an adjective, whereas beautiful is so much more. Beautiful is a sunset, or the rain, or being in love. Beautiful is singing in the shower, running at night, and laughing out-loud. Beautiful is the way a flower smells, or the feel of their skin. Being beautiful comes from within.

Feeling Beautiful

Feeling Beautiful is Empowering

Have you ever worn something new and felt wonderful in it? Did you have a much better time when you wore the new outfit? The way you felt when you wore it felt natural. You felt natural because this is the way you should feel all the time.

The world is full of beautiful people. You are one of them. Some days are better than others though, and a bad mood, a red pimple or a pair of jeans that are a little too tight can cause us to easily forget about our own beauty.

Beauty is among the greatest concerns for men and women around the world. As a society, there is a constant drive to appear more desirable and attractive to others, which is why the beauty industry is thriving. There are more than 250,000 beauty salons in the United States, with the industry employing more than 845,000 people. While cosmetics are one way to help improve your appearance, there are several natural ways to improve your looks.                              

Smile. The number one thing you can do to feel beautiful is to smile more often. This will automatically put you in a better mood, and you'll receive more positive energy from other people as well.When you smile, your whole face radiates beauty, so smile as often as you can. You may also find that by smiling more often, you end up having a more positive and happy attitude. There are ways to improve your smile if you are self-conscious. Teeth whitening can improve the brilliance of your smile and is more affordable than ever with the availability of over-the-counter whitening kits. To avoid discoloration, brush your teeth often, use a straw when you drink dark liquids and avoid smoking. Don't let dental flaws discourage you. Flaws like gaps can be a signature trademark. Smile, laugh, and stay positive! Remembering these three factors, helps draw the right people in your life and give you a beautiful glow that make others want to be around you.

Be Confident ~ One of the simplest ways to convey beauty on the outside is to have a healthy and positive self image. There is no sense in looking beautiful on the outside if you don't feel beautiful on the inside. If you are confident in yourself, it will reflect in the way you compose yourself. You are likely to carry yourself with good posture and smile more often, which make you look physically more beautiful. Walk and talk with confidence. It is much more attractive for a person to walk and talk with confidence than for her to slink back away from the world. Don’t be afraid to initiate conversations or stand up for what you believe in. Having more confidence in yourself will make you a more attractive person.

Think of your body as an instrument. Stop looking at your body as an unmovable object and start thinking of it as something that can be tuned. Little tune-ups every morning (moisturizer, chapstick, a wink and a smile) will improve your sense of beauty.

Eat healthy and exercise. Keeping your body in shape and eating healthy food can do wonders for you not only physically, but give you tremendous energy to be active and fit. Also taking vitamins and supplements is overall good for your body, skin, and hair. Exercise on a regular basis. Exercise is good for you both physically and mentally. Physically, it will help you stay healthier and can tone your body, as well. Exercise is good for you mentally because you get a feeling of achievement and self-satisfaction as you meet your exercise goals each time you work out. Exercising is a way to release stress, also. Exercising on a regular basis can help you to feel and look like a more attractive person.

Maintain personal hygiene ~ On a daily basis, shower, do your hair, and do your makeup (if you are a woman). Spray on some perfume or cologne before you head out the door. If you feel attractive, you will appear more attractive to those around you.

Go shopping. Treat yourself by buying a new outfit, pair of shoes or a beautiful necklace or earrings to give an extra boost in the way you look. Our self-esteem is closely linked with our consumerism. Your budget may allow you a $6 shirt or a $60 shirt; either way, a new article of clothing will give you a confidence boost.

Get a new haircut. Often times, a change in hair style will help you feel more attractive and will look more attractive, as well. Tell the stylist what you want and she should be able to figure out what shape, length and possibly color works best for your face shape, body shape and skin type. Speak up if it is something you don’t want or don’t like.

Moisturize ~ Use a good moisturize on your face and body every day to give your skin a natural radiance. Try to apply a moisturizer as soon as you get in the shower. According to 1sthealthsource.com, "moisturizers rehydrate and replenish your skin's natural radiance, no matter what condition your skin is in." Moisturizing helps replenish the skin with vitamins, minerals and collagen-elastin, which improves skin's elasticity and helps prevent wrinkles. The natural glow of a moisturizer on your face can also reduce the amount of makeup you need to wear every day. Use a lotion with a sun protection factor to protect your skin from the sun's rays, which can cause wrinkles. Drinking plenty of water is a natural way to hydrate skin; it also helps to flush toxins from the body.

Wear makeup. Makeup can help improve a woman's appearance, but wearing too much makeup can have the reverse effect. Wear enough makeup to accentuate your features and hide flaws without appearing as though you're wearing a mask. Light concealer and foundation, simple eye makeup, mascara and a natural lip shade are usually all you need to improve your appearance. If you use blush, apply it lightly or simply pinch your cheeks to give your skin a natural, blushing look. Look for makeup products that are made of natural materials and contain SPF to protect your skin from sun damage.Try applying on a little mascara or lipstick if you want to feel hot. On the other hand, if you want a completely new look, get yourself an over the counter make over at a department store or ask a makeup consultant to help you find makeup or lipstick that best matches your skin tone.

Pamper yourself every once in a while. Coerce your partner into a massage. Light some candles, and take a bubble bath. Curl up in bed with a good book. Engage in your favorite relaxation technique. Beautiful people find time for themselves. Spend time for yourself. Everyone needs to pamper himself or herself once in awhile and if it is going to a spa or something simple as trying, a new hairdo can improve greatly on how you feel.

Sleep ~ Beauty rest is not a myth that was created as an excuse to sleep in. Getting plenty of sleep re-energizes the body and prevents rings and dark circles around the eyes. The amount of sleep needed varies with each person, but if you get enough sleep, you'll be able to see the results in the way your body looks and feels.

Stay less stressed. Situations in our life at times can leave us on the edge and feel physically, mentally, and emotionally strained. Try yoga, mediate or soothing music to ease and relax your mind and body. Do whatever that works for you to prevent constant worries.

Work on your relationships with friends and family. Many studies have shown that positive, fulfilling relationships help people maintain a sense of inner and outer beauty.

Kill them with kindness. Remember--the most beautiful people are usually the nicest and most appealing to be around for reasons other than their beauty.

Age is on your side. Many people report feeling more beautiful as they get older.

Wear outfits that reflect your personality. Your inner comfort will reflect on the outside.

Be content with yourself. The best method to staying beautiful is being comfortable in your own skin by having confidence and thinking highly of yourself (but not to the extreme where you are arrogant). Accepting that you are an unique individual with great gifts can definitely change other areas in your life for the better.

Sharing "How to Feel Beautiful and Boost Confidence" from The Oprah Magazine

How to Feel Beautiful and Boost Confidence

(And not one involves more makeup!)

By Jenny Bailly
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the January 2010 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

Read more: http://www.oprah.com/spirit/How-to-Feel-Beautiful-and-Boost-Confidence

STAND (AND SIT) TALL

"Your brain is constantly checking in with the rest of your body to find out how you're feeling," says Kelly McGonigal, PhD, a health psychologist at Stanford University. "When your posture is erect, the message it gets is: I feel good about myself. " One study, published last year in the European Journal of Social Psychology , found that subjects who sat up straight in their chairs instead of slouching were more confident about statements they wrote. Keeping your shoulders back and chest open also makes you look taller, slimmer, and radiantly self-assured.

For some ideas on where to start, try O 's posture exercise plan .

BE AN OBSERVER, NOT A JUDGE

Don't issue good/bad/pretty/ugly judgments when you look in the mirror. "If you have a scar, you can decide to see it as a flaw or simply as a memory of an injury," says Stacey Tantleff-Dunn, PhD, associate professor of psychology at the University of Central Florida and director of the Laboratory for the Study of Eating, Appearance & Health. Try to take in your physical attributes the way you would those of a child or beloved friend—with appreciation and acceptance, not criticism.

FIND SOMETHING TO ADMIRE—IN YOURSELF

"Studies using eye-tracking technology have shown that people who are unhappy with their appearance zero in on their perceived flaws when they look in the mirror," says Nancy Etcoff, PhD, director of the Program in Aesthetics and Well Being at Massachusetts General Hospital. Turn your gaze on the feature you like (we know you have at least one). "When your eyes take in something that pleases you, your brain's reward system is activated, lifting your whole mood," says Etcoff.

PUT ON A HAPPY FACE

"We all find smiling faces more attractive than nonsmiling ones," says Paul Ekman, PhD, professor emeritus of psychology at the University of California San Francisco School of Medicine, who has studied facial expression for several decades. A smile not only lifts the muscles around the eyes and lips, for a more youthful appearance, but also generates a feel-good ripple effect: Your brain gets an instant mood boost from the muscle contractions, and that boost is maintained as people smile back at you.

BREATHE DEEPLY

Shallow breathing manifests itself as tension in your face, throat, even shoulders. On the other hand, when you take deep, slow breaths, you look and feel more at ease in your body. So take a second, enjoy the photo, and breathe.

JUST SAY "THANKS

When you compliment a child on her dress, she doesn't respond, "Oh, I don't think it fits quite right." (But she might say, "Thanks! And look at my shoes! And my braids! And did I tell you I'm the third tallest girl in my class?") Stop deflecting praise about your appearance. Simply say "thank you" when someone compliments your thick hair or sparkling eyes. You—and your admirer—will feel better about the exchange, creating positive reinforcement that makes you both want to give and receive compliments more often.

WEAR COLOR

We're not talking a fuchsia pantsuit. Just a pop of color—say, in a necklace or scarf—can light up your face, and your mood. Not sure what to add to your wardrobe of black and greige? Try blue: "It's universally considered a 'happy' color, and there's a shade that looks good on everyone," says fashion stylist Joe Lupo, coauthor of Life in Color. If your skin tone is warm (it looks yellow-orange next to a piece of white paper), choose royal blues; if your complexion is cool (it has a more pinkish cast), try icier blues or aquas.

LOOSEN UP

"Body image can be externally influenced—by a number on a scale or an image in a mirror—but it's also affected by physical sensations like discomfort," says McGonigal. When you wear clothes in the smaller size that you want to be (or once were), the feeling of constriction sends a constant signal to your brain that you're not thin enough. This isn't an appeal for elastic waistbands ("Looking like a schlump won't do much for your body image either," McGonigal says) but for clothes that are both elegant and comfortable—in the size you are now.

GIVE YOURSELF A REALITY CHECK

Unless you live off the grid (and if you're reading this, you probably don't), you're bombarded with media images of willowy, poreless women (case in point: the above). It's human nature to compare yourself with these images—but if you're not a supermodel, you'll come up short. Until such pictures are stamped with warning labels (an idea British and French lawmakers have proposed), when you catch yourself in the act of comparing, remember that these pictures are incredibly unrealistic—engineered by teams of lighting experts, makeup artists, and a tricky little computer application called Photoshop. They're created to make you feel insecure and encourage you to open your wallet. "Studies of teens have shown that increased media savvy does reduce comparisons and negativity about appearance," says Kerry O'Brien, PhD, a psychology lecturer at the University of Manchester.

CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY

Recent research shows that our social networks have a profound effect on our behaviors and attitudes—including how we perceive our appearance. "It's hard to feel good about your looks if you're surrounded by people who criticize their own," says Etcoff. "Spend time around people who are confident in their bodies, and you'll find yourself following suit." And if you don't already have a few gay men in your circle of friends, you might want to add some: A study published last year in the journal Body Image found that friendships with gay men can elevate women's body esteem.

VIEW YOURSELF IN A FLATTERING LIGHT

We mean that literally, as in change your lightbulbs. White-coated incandescent bulbs cast a wash of soft, pretty light, says lighting expert Dan Blitzer, president of the Practical Lighting Workshop. The Philips Natural and GE Reveal brands also filter out yellow tones for a clean white light that goes easy on all skin tones. Consider the placement of your light fixtures as well: "When light reaches your face from all directions, it minimizes lines and shadows," says Blitzer. In your bathroom, replace overhead lighting with fixtures on either side of your mirror.

How to Feel Beautiful

Beautiful Unique You

The key to being beautiful is knowing that you already are. But sometimes it's hard to acknowledge our own beauty when we just don't feel beautiful. Here are some things you can do to remind yourself that you're already beautiful.

1. Look in the mirror, look at others. You don't look like them, they don't look like you. You're unique. No one else looks like you (unless you have an identical twin, but even then, your personalities and expressions are unique). Say to yourself, out loud: "Unique is beautiful." Because everyone is beautiful in their own way, don't let anyone tell you different.
2. Let go of all ideas that promise "beauty" and instead aim for health. Trim your hair if it will make it healthy, lose or gain weight if it will make you healthy, use homemade skin creams and toners to keep your skin healthy, or eat healthy foods to be beautiful.
3. Exercise! Studies show that exercise can provide positive mental health as indicated by relief in symptoms of depression and anxiety. Overall, it makes you feel better about yourself as well as give you more energy.
4. Smile! Even if you don't feel like it. It'll make you feel and look a lot happier!
5. Do what you're good at. For example if English is your forte, write essays, or if you're brilliant at sports don't be afraid to play matches. If you are good at math give yourself a tricky challenge to do each day, by solving it you will feel happy and that will make you feel beautiful!
6. Embark your day by exclaiming to yourself in the mirror each day when you get up how awesome and beautiful you are. That may seem selfish, but it will help you feel good.
7. Treat yourself! Buy yourself a smoothie, go for a walk in the woods, watch a movie at home with your friends, or read a new book. Do something that doesn't involve how you look.
8. Accept others for who they are as well. Just because someone is a different shape, size, or color than you doesn't mean that they don't deserve to have self confidence as well. Give people around you reasons to make them think that they are beautiful. If you do that to others, it will make you feel good, and you'll realize that beauty is abundant - around you and within you.
9. Be nice to others. That will make their day too! The most beautiful person you can ever see with a nasty attitude isn't beautiful at all.
10. Make everything around you beautiful, whether this means decorating your room with nice lights or positive pictures from magazines, having beautiful surroundings will make you feel beautiful too! Write "confidence-boosters" on post-it notes, on fridge magnets, on the bathroom mirror with eyeliner... places you're bound to see it.
11. Your life is what you make of it. If you make yourself out to be beautiful, then that's the way you live your life, so live your life to the fullest, most beautiful way possible, and that's the way you will feel!

As a photographer, I can easily see beauty in the subjects of my photos. Not so much in myself.  I pick myself to death, erroding my self-confidence and happiness. This cell phone shot was taken just after my youngest daughter, Paige, straightened my hair for the first time. Normally my hair is slightly waving and I just wash and go, no makeup, no hair products, no beauty rituals at all. Paige is totally the opposite, she sometimes takes as long as an hour or more to get ready. I was resistant to her working on me, but she wanted to so I gave in. The result? My hair, which is a dirty blonde, looked lighter and shiny. I could not believe the difference! How could something so simple change so much?

But it did! It changed my whole outlook for the day. I felt beautiful. I smiled more. My daughter, who is only 17, showed me something that I should have been showing her. Just a few minutes can make all the difference. Let's embark on this journey to seeing our own beauty together. Who is with me?

You are Beautiful!

Image

I was working out the other day on my eliptical machine with the television on when this commercial came on. What I saw was the image of a beautiful young woman looking in the mirror, frowning. It was a commercial for a skin care product and my first reaction was how silly — clearly no one would be looking for a few tiny lines on someone so lovely. Then I looked closer and something in her eyes was a little too familiar.

We’ve all been there, staring in the mirror, not at ourselves but at our imperfections. Not seeing beauty but the beast. It’s no wonder. With so much cultural emphasis on youth and the “perfect” body, we have come to equate beauty primarily with our physical form. The truth is however, that while being healthy and taking care of our bodies is important, real beauty is so much more.

What is True Beauty?

Beauty is the radiance that shines through us when we’re feeling joy; it’s the vibrancy we exude when we’re excited about life; it’s the passion that lights up our eyes and the gentleness of our spirits. Beauty is multidimensional. It’s something we all possess at every age, young, old and in between. When we recognize and approach beauty from our four dimensions—our body, mind, heart and spirit—we have the ability to feel and be beautiful right now, today.
 
Beauty comes from thinking it with our minds, feeling it in our hearts and believing it in our souls. When we do, our bodies reflect it out to world. In time, radiating real beauty becomes as natural as breathing. To help you uncover your unique beauty, practice these steps for 30 days and repeat as needed!

1. Acknowledge your beauty. Identify something about your physical self that you know is beautiful. It might be your eyes, your hair or your hands. Take time each day to appreciate that feature. Add something new every few days—even if it’s something as small as a delicate web of veins running under your skin.
2. Experience beauty. Do something to help you feel beautiful everyday. Get a manicure; rub lotion on your skin; wear something soft or brush your hair until it shines. Identify as many of these “beautifying” rituals as you can and make them a part of your everyday life. The point is not to appear more beautiful to others, but to feel beautiful for the joy of it—for you.
3. Notice beauty around you. Beauty is all around us. It might be in your flower garden, a favorite piece of furniture, a song or a shop window you pass on the way to work. Tuning into beauty helps connect us to our spiritual nature; eases tension in our bodies and attracts more beauty into our lives. Yes, noticing beauty can actually make you more beautiful.
4. Smile. When you walk down the street or into a room, consciously smile at someone. It let’s your real self shine through and makes a connection that feeds your heart. Notice that when you smile at someone it changes their body language and their attitude. It does the same for you!
5. Let go of judgment. The truth is, the only opinion that matters is your own; the only one you need to please is you. This can be a tough one. Most of us are our own worst critic. By judging ourselves as less than beautiful, however, we make it so. Letting go of judgment begins with awareness. When negative thoughts filter in, be aware of them and what they’re doing to you. Did the thought make you frown or tense up? Is that what you want? Now consciously push your negative thoughts aside and refocus on something positive, something that makes you happy, confident or at peace. See the transformation and acknowledge it. Each time you do, it will be easier to stay in that positive space and project your real beauty.

When you believe in and recognize your own beauty, others will too. You might also see old patterns falling away (like eating when you’re not hungry!) that contributed to negative feelings about yourself in the past. Start today to focus your whole being, body, mind, heart and spirit on what you want. When no one dimension is carrying the burden alone, your chances of success are much greater!

Beauty in the Imperfections

 

Finding Beauty in the Imperfections

“Love isn’t a state of caring. It is an active noun, like struggle.
To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly
the way he or she is, right here and now.”

 

There are certain things in life that we can’t master simply by memorizing a set of facts or figures. We must navigate our way using past experiences and current feelings, attempting to find what’s “right” when “right” is only a matter of opinion.

I’d like to believe that I am an entirely open minded and non-judgmental person. But this belief that I must find someone that fits my mind, my life, my personality perfectly has led me to operate from a place of analytical judgment, compartmentalizing and taking note of everything both big and small, dissecting a potential partner into parts that look nothing like their whole.

It’s made me discount things I know nothing about and place importance on things that I didn’t find all that important in the first place.

It’s made me forget that love is about the process, not the end result.

Unfortunately, by definition, perfect means that flaws and blemishes don’t exist. But people are filled with both flaws and blemishes.

And in truth, how can I expect someone else to always be kind when I’m not always kind? Or how can I expect them to be financially responsible when I don’t always want to be?

I’m not perfect.

As a society we like to see things in black and white, wrong and right. This gives us a false sense of security and allows us to make sense of anything that comes our way. Plus, it gives our ego a chance to shine.

But recognizing shades of gray and being able to let go of the “right” fight opens us up to a world of possibilities. It’s simply about being — not defending or preaching.

Life is mostly made up of routines and patterns. Every day we act them out and they are what make up the bulk of our lives. Many of us live according to a socially acceptable template, within the realm of safety, while living repetitively and dreaming of ways to escape.

I used to revolt against these routines. I saw them as the enemy of adventure and of living a spontaneous life. However, I’ve found that routines can be quite blissful. I’ve realized that every day events and what we would commonly classify as “normal”, is often extraordinary if you just take a closer look.

I’ve discovered that even if you’re not exactly where you’d like to be, that doesn’t mean that life right now can’t be beautiful or enjoyable. And the best part is, you don’t have to do anything to make it beautiful. It already is beautiful.

All you have to do is open your eyes.

 

Seeing Things Differently

We are constantly surrounded by miracles, but we do not recognize them because they come to us so gracefully and seamlessly.

For example, have you ever thought about how many different processes have to be organized simply to create the experience you’re having right now? Imagine if all of that was a conscious effort. Imagine if you had to think about breathing, or think about listening to music. You don’t, it just happens. Isn’t that amazing?

Now multiply that by a trillion. Every breath, every movement, and every condition that’s creating the possibility for you to be alive right now is a miracle.

We often get inundated with our To-Do lists, or get caught up in the drama of things that aren’t really important. Realizing that beauty exists in every moment is possible; it simply takes a way of seeing things a bit differently.

Boredom due to routine is a creation of the mind. In reality, there are no ordinary or extraordinary moments. There is beauty everywhere. If you truly understand this, you can look at any ordinary object and find beauty in its existence. You can see a pile of rotting compost and realize that within that organic waste is the possibility of a garden of flowers.

I’ve found that there are a few easy shifts that need to take place, in order to create a state of constant awareness of how amazing life is. Most of the time we only catch a glimpse of how amazing things really are before we get sucked back into the monotony of our routines. We lose mindfulness.

In order to make awareness of beauty a permanent fixture in your life, you need to practice being mindful and aware. I don’t claim that practicing these principles is easy, but the benefits are worthwhile when we bring consciousness into our daily existence.

1. Practice Listening

One of the biggest blocks to recognizing all of life’s extraordinary moments is that we often don’t stop to listen. We’re too busy talking to ourselves. If we’re thinking all the time, we’re living entirely in a world of symbols. We’re living in a world of abstractions about reality; words that describe, label, and categorize things. This can be a wonderful tool for communication, but it can also be a curse when it gets out of control.
If we’re always thinking, we’re never in a relationship with reality. In order to become intimate with life, we need to listen. Imagine that every time you interacted with someone, you were the only one talking. There would be no communication, because you never gave the other person a chance to speak. It works the same way when you’re communicating with life.
Instead of thinking all the time and getting lost in your own thoughts, slow down and just listen. Put your focus on listening. When you find that you are drifting away in your own thoughts, gently bring your focus back to listening.

2. Practice Non-Judgment

Have you ever noticed that when you judge other people, it immediately puts you in a negative mood?



Usually, the judgments we make are because other people aren’t conforming to our version of the way we would live. Everyone’s values are different, and that’s what makes life interesting. While there are some justifiable judgments you can make, they’re still, ultimately, not worth it.

Compassion is a better vehicle for change than judgment.

The next time you’re about to make a judgment, try to practice compassion instead.

Let your feeling of needing to judge be a reminder for you to practice compassion. That way, your negativity will be transformed into peace.

Beauty is experienced through a state of peace, never through a state of condemnation. And yes, non-judgment also means to stop complaining.

3. Open Your Heart

If you’re like me and you’re pretty left-brained, you might be thinking, “Okay that’s nice, but how exactly do I open my heart?”

Opening your heart is a matter of accepting yourself and life as it is. It’s a matter of forgiving yourself and others. It’s letting go of all your resistance to the flow of life and the flow of circumstances.

If you want to take action to change something, that’s fine. But it doesn’t make any sense to resist what is already a reality. Surrender to this moment, accept things and people as they are, and your heart will begin to open.

Tips for Daily Living

What all of these things have in common is presence. The more you’re living in the present moment, the more bliss you allow to come into your life. If you’re always living in the future, always seeking something, you’re rejecting what Is – you’re never actually here to experience the miracle of life, right now.

 

 

If you can just practice these three things, your life will start to transform dramatically. You’ll begin to tap into your inner integrity and live authentically. You can’t live in acceptance and not be authentic. And if you’re living authentically, you naturally move into a state of bliss. See where this is leading?

The three practices I’ve mentioned above are the primary catalysts for opening yourself up to how wonderful life can be. There are, however, many other practical things you can do that will help you become more aligned with these principles.

Here are a few suggestions:

• Find beauty in the little things. It’s amazing to me how when I stop the incessant mental chatter, and actually just see things, I am blown away by how beautiful they are. The trees swaying, the leaves blowing around on the ground, the waves crashing on the shore. The simplest of things have the most profound beauty. But you can only see them if you’re really there. If your mind is brooding, if you’re off somewhere else, you’ll completely miss them.
• Embrace your artistry. If you think you’re not a creative person, I’m here to respectably tell you – you’re wrong. You couldn’t not create, even if you wanted to. Every time you open your mouth, every story you tell yourself about the drama in your life, is an act of creation. You’re constantly shaping, reinventing, and writing the story of your life. Once you recognize this, it’s much more powerful for you to see yourself as an artist, rather than a non-creative person. So the question is: What story will you create today?
• Live without limits. Some limits are positive and necessary (like speed limits), but a lot of the limits we place on our lives block us from experiencing our full potential. Arbitrary limits, like fearing to reach out to a homeless person or talk to strangers, restrict the flow of love in our lives.
• Realize that beauty can be found in the most mundane. Beauty is not always realized through a life-changing moment or a great epiphany. It’s not always hidden in a rainbow or found skydiving at 5,000 feet above the ground. Beauty is often found through looking into a newborn’s eyes, in the blooming of a flower, or in paint peeling off an old fence. It’s often where you least expect it.

• See for the first time. Sometimes we get bogged down in schedules and obligations, and we lose our sense of wonder about the simple joys of life. Just quieting yourself internally and opening yourself up to an experience can allow you to view it again for the very first time. When you’re listening to music, imagine that you might have not been born with the ability to hear. When you reach out to touch someone, think about how many people don’t have use of their limbs. When you observe your surroundings, imagine you’re seeing color for the first time.
• Live intimately with life. The next time you have a drink of coffee or tea, completely take in the smell and the flavor of the beverage. When you breathe, feel the air enter your lungs. When you walk, really feel the ground beneath your feet. The amount of beauty you experience in life is largely related to your level of intimacy with life. If you’re walking around disconnected, you overlook the wealth of artistry that is available to you right now.
• Make your passion a priority. It’s easy to get wrapped up in doing all of the things that we think must get done. Wanting everything to be perfect gets in the way of having time for the things you really care about. While the errands and things on your to-do list might be necessary, it’s important to make the things you love a priority. If you have a hard time with distractions getting in your way, make a specific time during your day that is sacred, where you only do what you really want to do. Maybe it’s an hour of Kung Fu or Yoga in the morning before the rest of the world wakes up. Maybe it’s 30 minutes of Mahjong before you turn in for the night. Whatever it is, you have to make it a priority or it will get lost in the vacuum of the minutiae abyss.
• Focus on the good. The reason still puzzles me, but we humans have a tendency to focus on the negative in events, circumstances, and people. We have a tendency to count our misfortunes and all the things that are lacking before we count our blessings. Make a habit of focusing on all the things you’re grateful for and you will open yourself up to experiencing the beauty of life.
• Give something away. I’ve found that the best way to reconnect with how beautiful life can be is to give something away. It doesn’t have to be anything material. It can be a compliment, a smile, or a positive intention for someone else. Sometimes the greatest gift you can give is sincerely giving your presence.

This list is, by no means, exhaustive. These are just the things that have worked for me. Experiment on your own and take chances. Sometimes a deep breath or a smile at a stranger is all it takes to bring you back into a state of presence.

Closing Thoughts

It’s easy to get motivated to follow or chase a new provocative idea. Seeing the beauty in the “ordinary” sounds quite alluring. But like most things that catch our fleeting interest, our well intended desires get lost in our rush to get things done and keep up with the day to day business of living.

To make our perception of life being amazing a constant perception rather than a transient one, we have to slow down. It’s only through seeing the wisdom of slowing down, breathing and being present that we can realize how ridiculous it is to always be in a hurry. We may think we’re moving quicker, and getting more things done. But in doing so, we miss the point: to enjoy life now.

Only by slowing down and being here now can we make what we’re doing worthwhile. It’s in slowing down that we allow ourselves space to experience life more fully. We often go through life trying to eliminate and fill up space as much as possible in an attempt to “maximize” our time. But in the end, the exact opposite happens.

It’s through space that air fills your lungs. It’s through space that your body moves. It’s through space in the vibration of the air that sound is heard. It’s in the gaps between veins that blood flows. Without the space between these letters, there would be no words for you to read -it would all be incoherent.

In this way, you realize something…

Emptiness truly roars. Silence speaks. Space gives birth to form.

It’s in the gaps that beauty is found.
 

 

Perfectly Imperfect

Embracing the Imperfect

“The problem is not that there are problems.
The problem is expecting otherwise and
thinking that having problems is a problem.”
         ~Theodore Rubin


It occurred to me that there might be a gift in all of this for others – the gift of exposure and vulnerability.

Here’s the thing: I’ve had more than a few experiences where, when I “out” myself as imperfect, the response to that is for someone else to use that to feel smug, better-than me, or more put-together.

Perhaps they even tell others that “Dawn isn’t really who you think she is” because they’ve been privy to my struggles or they’ve seen some inconsistency show up between my vision for my life and my actions on a particular day.

This is exactly why we tend not to get vulnerable and why we hesitate to claim or accept our imperfections. We’re afraid of this response.

This is also exactly why it’s the place to practice courage and to get vulnerable.

Choices

When I’ve had this experience of someone mis-interpreting (or outright mis-using) my transparent admissions that "Yes, I still experience fear", or "Sometimes I don’t feel enough", or  "I get frustrated when my business doesn’t perform the way I want it to", I have a few choices.

YOU have a few choices:

• You can run back into yourself and hide, duly chastened and embarrassed, and go back to the exhausting role of “I’ve got it all together.” or
• You can take a deep breath, and sink even more deeply into whatever your truth is in that moment, even if your truth is that you’re not on-point.

The Most Powerful Parts of Us

The most powerful part of who I am, and of who you are, is actually not the part where I’m “put-together.”

The most powerful part of who we are is where we accept that within us which is “falling apart.” Being honest about being an imperfectly perfect human being creates such an enormous expanse of freedom.

That level of honesty is core-shaking. It’s freedom from the Stories about ourselves and freedom from what others think.

It’s the space where compassion begins when others judge, for the empty endeavor of using someone else’s low to fuel their own artificial high.

Your truth–even if it’s a miserable one–becomes powerful when you embrace it. Own it fully.

The great paradox is that when we embrace the things that are difficult, the things that are difficult have the space for actual change.

When something is ready to transform, it transforms.

Last Stop: Your Job

It’s my job to own where I’m at, and to accept where I’m at. It’s other people’s jobs to own where they are at, and to accept where they are at.

So really–It’s actually not anyone else’s job to accept you, so that you can be okay with you.

Translation: It doesn’t do much good to try and wait for everyone else to be okay with our truth before we’ll expose our truth. Waiting for that moment keeps you trapped in caring about what other people think.

Waiting for other people to approve, first, is a form of wanting other people to create safety for you, but only you create safety in your life. Safety starts and ends within you.

That’s why I’m willing to expose myself, to share honestly that in this moment, as of writing this, that I am not perfect ~ sometimes I don't even like myself.

Don’t know how I will feel in five minutes, don’t know how I will feel in five days – but this is where I am, right now. Right now, I am Embracing my Imperfectness.

I stand before you, open and vulnerable, yet grounded in my truth. It’s the safest place to be.

How to be Beautiful

While beauty is almost as subjective as love, it's something that you can explore and discover in yourself over time. This article focuses on both inner and outer beauty.

1. Seek beauty around you. How do you define beauty? As you go through your day, try to make note of things and people that strike you as beautiful: the art, the sky, someone's freckles. If you can, write them down. Find your beauty. Try to understand what makes them beautiful to you. They may not be beautiful to others, but that's the reason beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
2. Recognize the beauty in yourself. Look in the mirror and search for beauty. By now, you've probably noticed that the most beautiful things in life are often subtle and hidden. The same goes for the beauty you hold. Maybe you have smooth, well-proportioned hands, or a flawless forehead, or perfectly-shaped shoulders. Whatever it is, it's yours - reveal it.
3. Develop your inner beauty. There are plenty of so-called beautiful people out there who lie, cheat, steal, and even kill. This type of beauty does not last . By finding yourself and building your character through integrity, you can be beautiful both on the inside and on the outside. Better yet, your inner beauty will always emanate and never fade, wrinkle, or turn gray.
4. Enhance your physical beauty. Looking beautiful is all about emphasizing those features in you that are already beautiful. There are millions of ways to do this, as there are millions of potentially beautiful features on a single body. The important thing is to experiment with accentuating that beauty until you can look at your reflection and feel like you've given your beauty the representation it deserves.
5. Create beauty outside of yourself. Now that you see beauty and you are beautiful (as you always have been, but now know it), it's time to make beauty. Art is a very popular emulation of beauty, but it's possible to inject beauty into everything you do (your work, how you interact with people, and the way you decorate your room, for example). This is an extremely satisfying pursuit that will not only make the world a more beautiful place, but it will also bring your quest for beauty full circle.

Even though what is considered beautiful varies from person to person, there are a few broad characteristics that most people seem to agree on:

• Health is beautiful. There's nothing beautiful about destroying your body, even if you do it slowly by neglecting your body.
• Character is beautiful. Think of the most beautiful people you know; now imagine them spitting on a homeless person. They're not very beautiful anymore, are they?

Tell yourself every day when you wake up: "I am beautiful. No one can take that away from me." If you are getting older - in your thirties, forties, or older, you will be beautiful in a different way than a younger person. You will have lines, perhaps scars, perhaps some grey, you may have mannerisms or ways of moving that have become uniquely you. You can take these changes and either use them to feel deeper, richer, more nuanced, more sensual, or you can feel worn down, comparing yourself to younger people.

Being fake (a form of deception) is one of the ugliest things in the world. Don't think that in order to be beautiful, you can't be yourself. Many people have terrible judgment and don't recognize beauty when they see it. They may say things that can hurt you, but don't let their ignorance ruin your happiness, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind. Beware, some people may also overemphasize inner beauty as the only area one should work on enhancing. Do not believe making "adjustments" to your outer beauty is being fake. As long as you are comfortable, you are good to go.

Inner beauty is something we all posess. Sometimes we just need someone / something to remind us of how to use this quality. Helping others without thinking, lending a hand to someone in need (even if it is just to carry something for 2 steps).  Remember that doing your good deed for the day is when you do something for someone who will not be able to repay you.  Even when you are in a rush, put out your hand and help someone out. You never know when you might be that someone…

We believe that everyone is beautiful! Taking the time to highlight and capture that inner and outer beauty is our commitment to you. The art of our inner world caught by a camera offers compelling beauty and inspiring images. Dawn Michelle Creations captures your mood, facial features, and your inner beauty and celebrates every stage of your life with natural, fresh, and simple portraits that you and your family will treasure for generations to come.


“I believe inner beauty shines outward. While photographing, I strive to capture the rays of light that reveal one’s essence." ~ Dawn Michelle


Life's moments are a lot like magic - here one minute and gone the next. Capture the memories and magic of family with the enduring beauty of a portrait. Call to schedule your appointment today! We have a few more FREE Basic Packages left (includes your choice of any 3 Units (sheets) and a photo inserted Key Chain, $113 Value FREE for 1st 10 appointments).

The Perception of Beauty

You can read the entire Washington Post article at http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/04/04/AR2007040401721.html